Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Adventures In Dating... online?!

I have officially done that which I thought I never would… I am officially an online dater.

I’ll admit, I have had friends that tried online dating and never really found success, and as a result I determined that I wanted to meet someone a little more organically than that. I figured I will live my life, and do the things that are most important to me. By doing that, I’ll meet someone who either loves some of the same things I do, or I’ll meet someone who recognizes that I am passionate about the things that I love and respects that.

Well, after two years of single-dom (Okay, technically I’ll hit two years next week, on Friday I think? I feel the need to celebrate that J it has been an amazing two years!) I think I have clearly demonstrated that theory definitely doesn’t check out. A few weeks ago, I took the plunge & chose Eharmony. I chose this site because I have heard a ridiculous amount of stories about guys on free dating websites that only want one thing – if ya know what I mean! After researching the different websites, I figured Eharmony was a good place to start. I like that they have such a lengthy questionnaire to help match you. I don’t like that you can see who has viewed your profile, or that others can see when you have.

How am I supposed to stalk men if they can see I’m stalking?! Also, it feels like instant rejection when you see that someone viewed your profile, but didn’t contact you. It would be nicer if they didn’t automatically bring you to the page that shows all of this upon login!

I was SO nervous to try online dating, but I wanted to date more – since I NEVER get asked out in real life. Like ever! Well, let me tell you. When it rains? It freaking pours!! Since signing up for online dating, I have met two (– not one but TWO! –) men in real life & gone on dates with them! How crazy is that! Since signing up for online dating, I have gone on more dates with men I met in real life than men I met online. I sincerely prefer meeting men in real life. Although, I must say that it is nice to get all of your must-haves and deal-breakers on the table before you even consider dating. It might feel impersonal and judgmental, but the reality is that many of these things are incredibly important!

I’ll never forget how I felt when my ex-boyfriend told me that if we had a child that was gay he would always maintain that being gay was wrong, and a choice that they made. And I found that out when we had already been together for over a year!!! I was completely horrified. That is something that can happen regardless of how you meet someone, but the lesson that’s been underscored for me (in the whole two weeks I’ve been online dating) is that you need to be clear and upfront about your needs. If something is a priority to you, you should make it clear pretty early on.